Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

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It’s gotta be just right!

Posted by Steve and Casey Cretsinger on Friday, May 25th, 2012

Steve and I with the bride and groom

Ceremonies are a big deal here in Guinea.  I can’t but help but think that a major reason for that is because so much of life is simply survival.  And when you spend so much time just trying to get through the day, a ceremony of any kind is a welcome distraction.  I’ve given up trying to understand why families who don’t have enough to feed their kids will spend so much to host a baby naming ceremony (which feeds the guests a great meal, but the kids will hungry for weeks afterwards).  Yes, ceremonies are a huge deal.  Weddings, babies, funerals…everything needs to be done just right.

Momed, Steve’s right hand man and our adopted son, thought that he had done the right ceremony to be able to marry his girlfriend last year.  Well, her family had different thoughts on that one.  They decided that what he thought was a pretty good marriage celebration was in fact just a large engagement party.  They were so serious about it in fact that almost a year later they came and took back his “wife” and baby daughter (who happens to be my namesake).  They said he could have them back when he did the marriage ceremony their way.

So, this past weekend, we provided the means for him to do everything just right.  And it was quite the bash.  Mawa’s family lives in town, so this was a much bigger wedding than the ones here in our village.  We had videotaped coverage of signing the marriage certificate at the town courthouse.  We had a band playing at her family’s house complete with an actual singer.   There was a tent where the bride and groom sat and people could come and shake their hands.  Mawa actually rented an American style wedding dress and Momed had a suit made.  None of this is common over here!  This was a big shindig!

As much as we talked about every detail beforehand, there was still so much going on that I in no way understood!  There was a lot of “oh, I forgot…” the day of and a lot of running around for Steve as he helped get everything in place.  If you thought that things were finished just because they signed legal papers at the courthouse – you would be wrong.  It wasn’t until the large group of religious leaders gave their approval that things were considered finished.  We all breathed a sigh of relief when they said that his gifts to Mawa and her family were good enough for him to marry her.

We took a lot of pictures, tried to understand what was being said by everyone and watched Ephraim yet again be the life of the party with his dancing.  We tried to get pictures of him, but it was impossible because the crowd was so thick we couldn’t get the camera near him.

It was a very long weekend.  But, they are married (for real this time!).  Gotta love the ceremonies!

The important men deciding if Momed's gift are good enough for him to marry Mawa

Live music!

Momed has become such a partner with Steve in helping our other missionaries that many of them were a part of the wedding as well. This is outside the courthouse.

A huge crowd gathered for dancing. You can see the tent for the bride and groom in the background.

 

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Breaking the news

Posted by Steve and Casey Cretsinger on Thursday, May 10th, 2012

Maimouna and I all dressed up for a wedding (me in the outfit she had made for me)

Today was not a good one.  Lots of meetings with different people about the closing of our center and emotions are running very high these days.  It’s so hard to not to take things extremely personal for 1) ourselves and 2) all the people in the village that we care about who are losing their jobs.  I’ll admit I got pretty upset with people this morning…thankfully, I have a husband who is patient and understanding and lets me get it all out…before he tries to fix anything :)

In a break from those meetings, I went to visit my closest friend here in Guinea.  This is the moment I’ve been dreading since we decided to head home this summer.  She has been by my side since the day I arrived at our first home here in Guinea.  Sharing her culture, her life, and her family with me.  Her son, Momed, spends every other weekend with us and has become like another son for me.  I really, really didn’t want to tell her that I’m leaving.  As I started to tell her that I had something difficult to say, I just started crying and couldn’t get the words out.  Then she started crying and saying that she had heard that the center was closing and she figured that soon I would tell her this.  She said that she had shared with Momed a little bit so he wouldn’t be too surprised.  She said he cried for days.  Then she told me how he asked if he would be grown before I saw him again and he asked if he could come to the airport to see our plane leave.  Talk about a knife through the heart.  Seriously.  I couldn’t stop crying.  And she is crying.  And it’s just really hard.

I told her that we would still provide the funds for his school and other things he needed.  She gave me such a gift when she said that it wasn’t about the money.  She said that we are like sisters and her heart hurts for me to leave her.  She assured me that she knows how much I love them too.

I cried all the way home too.  My heart is heavy.  My kids know that this breaking my heart.  But, I don’t want them to feel like it’s all their fault.  That I’m going home just because they need me too.  I want them to know that I’m sacrificing right now because they are THAT important.  So, I want to do it with a smile.  I want to share in their excitement over movie theaters, ice cream, pizza in a box (Ephraim), and especially over seeing family and friends.  But, man this is hard.  So hard.

We need your prayers in the weeks to come as there are so many goodbyes.

Momed with our boys and his younger brothers on Christmas Eve

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Praying by name

Posted by Steve and Casey Cretsinger on Tuesday, May 8th, 2012

Steve teaching the guys how to grill hamburgers one night

Titi, Daouda, Gnaissa, Oumar, Youssof, Saliou, Mamadou…I want you to know these names.  I want to ask you pray for these young men that you will most likely never meet.  We have such a burden to see these young men embrace the truths of the Gospel.  These seven young men have become so dear to our hearts.

What a journey we’ve been on with them.  In the time we’ve come to know them; one has lost his mother, two have seen their mothers suffer from AIDS, one has been in prison, one has had major surgery on his legs, and those are just the major events.  What we’re the most thankful has been those everyday moments.  The talks on our porch, the soccer matches, the endless foosball tournaments, watching them play with our boys and so many other things.  God has blessed us with these guys.

They come to our house just about everyday to earn a little spending money with whatever job I can come up with.  If there are no jobs that day, they just hang out and try to practice their growing English vocabulary on me.  But, we’ve also been setting aside Thursday nights as a time to meet with them and discuss our faith.  They come dressed in their best to enjoy dinner with us and then they sit and talk for a couple of hours with Steve.  He went through a book called “The Lamb” with them which very clearly lays out why we need a Savior.  We’ve spent time talking about the differences between their religion and ours.  It’s been wonderful to see them come out of their shells and discuss the tough issues.  Steve has shared his testimony with them and shared the Gospel as clearly as he can.

Now, comes the tough part.  Now comes the time to trust that God will do something amazing in their lives.  Praying that each of them would see how empty and hopeless their religion is and to seek after the one true God who will never abandon them.  We’re asking each of you to be praying for these special men as well!

Piling their plates full for an American bbq

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From across the ocean…

Posted by Steve and Casey Cretsinger on Thursday, April 12th, 2012

Enjoying lunch with the guys

One of my favorite reasons for having my parents come visit us a couple years ago was that they could now REALLY know what our life was like over here.  I can try to paint a picture in an email or on this blog, but to truly understand – well, it’s just something you have to experience.

So, we were pretty excited when our friend Chris wrote to us and wondered what we would think of him coming for a visit.  We were a bit skeptical at first that it could really happen because coming here for a visit is no small feat.  There are shots needed, passports needed, entry visas needed, expensive plane tickets needed…and the list goes on.  I honestly waited for an email that said it was just all too much to go through for a short visit.  BUT, he persevered through it all and endured the very long flight to join us here in Guinea.

Since Chris is a builder in the States, we thought it would be great for him to get involved with one of Steve’s building projects he has going on.  One of our missionary co-workers is moving to a new village and Steve is busy building her a new home.  So, Chris was able to spend quite a bit of time with Steve out in this other village building a house brick by brick.  He slept out in that village, ate rice and sauce like everyone else, joined in the camaraderie with the other guys (even without really being able to speak to them!) and caught a glimpse of how Steve spends his days.

Steve cutting through the brick walls to put in windows

The house that they are in the process of building

 

His days were also filled with meeting endless amounts of people who were so eager to shake his hand.  We took him to so many homes to greet our friends here.  We kept explaining to him that it wasn’t so much that WE thought he needed to greet all those people, but that THEY would be very offended if we didn’t introduce Chris to them.  He heard how all of those people had come into our lives and how God continues to grow those friendships.  He held some of the babies that we are providing food for and heard how God has blessed their growth.  He went on medical runs with Steve and listened as we tried to help those who were hurting.  We went to church in town and he was able to see believers standing up for their faith in this difficult setting.

Chris getting in on a soccer game with kids in the village

 

Chris with Steve and the teens who meet here on Thursdays

He was also able to see the realities of life as a missionary…people at the house ALL the time, no privacy, the heat, the stresses of so many depending on us, missing family and the familiar…he is able to pray for us in a new way now that he has spent some time here with us.

So, in light of all these things he has seen and the people he met, I’m sure it’s not the brick work that he will remember most from his trip.  I wish he could write to you of his experiences himself…he’s been gone a few weeks now and it almost feels unreal that he was even here.  His trip was especially encouraging to Steve who truly appreciated the long talks and thoughts Chris had to share.

We praise God for allowing Chris to come and see our lives here firsthand and we thank God for how he used the trip in each of our lives.  Continue praying for wisdom and clarity for us in the days ahead.

 

 

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Even in taking apart the bricks

Posted by Steve and Casey Cretsinger on Tuesday, March 27th, 2012

Visiting our neighbors

Being a foreigner in a small village is not easy.  It’s not easy to always feel like you are on the outside of an inside joke.  Or to wonder what happens you walk away.  I’ll admit that it can make you feel a bit paranoid.

I have to keep reminding myself that with moving into a small village where everyone is related to one another and has known each other their whole lives, acceptance will take time.  There is a lot of mystery and skepticism about foreigners.

So, I find great joy in the little milestones.  I am encouraged with every bit of progress.  I tell Steve with much excitement about every interaction where I don’t feel like the outsider.  I’m so thankful to see how much has changed since we first moved here.  Several times recently someone has said to me “how do you know about that?” and several times someone has said “you really know what’s happening.”  That’s exciting stuff for me!

It takes a long time to get the place where you get told what REALLY happened.  It takes a while to get to the place where you know how so and so is related to so and so and how that affects the situation.  I am so thankful that people are finally telling me the whole story (or more of the story anyway).

Like I said, this doesn’t happen overnight.  We’ve been trying so hard to BE out with our neighbors – spending time with them and being a part of what is going on in their lives.  Sometimes it’s just sitting around talking – other times it’s joining in on work that needs done.

The Compo family has become pretty special to us.  We spend quite a bit of time with them in lots of different ways.  Titi, is one of the teens who is always here.  He and his brother have a small little room next to their parents home that they live in.  Like pretty much every other house in the village, it is made of mud bricks.  It needed to be taken apart because it was crumbling and put back together with new mud and many new bricks.  We decided to go out one day while Chris was visiting so we could all help take it down.

Let’s just say that a mud brick house is easier to take apart than our American style ones!  Our group of guys had that thing down to the foundation in just over an hour…pretty impressive.  Everyone got in on the action and I was happy to let the men work while I snapped pictures.  We pray that these times of joining our neighbors in the daily grind of life continues to show them how much we care about them.  We want true friendships that lead to people accepting Christ as their Savior.  Small steps moving forward in everything…

One by one the bricks are pulled from the mud that surrounds it

Micah using those muscles to haul lots of bricks

Malachi and Ephraim breaking apart the mud holding the bricks

The hard working crew

 

 

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So much going on

Posted by Steve and Casey Cretsinger on Monday, March 26th, 2012

Heading out for church one Sunday morning

I was looking through all the photos that I’ve taken in the last few weeks and realized again that we’ve had one extremely busy month.  Hectic, event filled, crazy, productive, and insane are all words that could describe the last month.

There’s so much to write about.  For your sake, I’ll break it up into a few posts.

Just a little update on some of the special people in our lives with some new photos…

She's so serious looking all the time

Steve and I with Momed, Mawa and baby Casey

Baby Casey is growing up quickly.  I’m so thankful that we get to play a role in her life.  She is so absolutely adorable and just lets us all hold her and love on her.  The boys can’t get enough of her when she’s around.  They want us to keep her here with us.  We just went to a wedding in the village that she came to as well and I was more than happy to snuggle her while her mom danced the night away.  I continue to pray that we can use this special relationship to bring the Gospel to Casey and her parents.

Steve with Kinda out in his gardens

Steve continues to enjoy his visits with Kinda.  We honestly didn’t think he would be able to pull through the serious illnesses he went through.  We know that he will go through more of these hard times as the AIDS further weakens him.  He has an amazing spirit though and we praise God for the way he continues to grow in his faith.  He is dedicated to meeting together with other believers to pray.  We will keep praying that his family will desire his faith as well.

Having dinner with us while Chris was visiting

We thank God for the relationships He has given us with this group of teenage boys.  They are here everyday as school is over and are content to just BE here.  I love that.  I love that they want to be around us.  We don’t have to do anything special…just simply letting them have a place to hang out is great for them.  I love how God has brought them so close to our family.  Our boys think they are the greatest too.  We keep praying that everything we share with them will take root in their hearts and they will seek out Christ.

Well, that’s my first little post…I have a whole list of things to write and share with you.  Check back again soon for more posts!

Micah and Titi battling for the ball in a soccer game

Malachi getting in on the soccer game action

 

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Becoming a blacksmith

Posted by Steve and Casey Cretsinger on Wednesday, January 4th, 2012
Learning the ropes of being a blacksmith

Learning the ropes of being a blacksmith

We’ve just given my mom a new reason to fear for the life of her grandchild…maybe not quite that drastic, but we’re definitely making her nervous!  Malachi is completely fascinated by all things dangerous.  To him, if there’s no element of danger to something then why bother doing it?  So, it comes as no surprise that he thinks the blacksmith in our village has the coolest job.  Burning coal, pounding out burning metal, and making it into tools and weapons…how cool is that?  Steve has taken Malachi to visit the blacksmith several times as he is always making tools for us to use around here.

Then Steve had the idea that instead of Malachi just watching the blacksmith at his shop – how about we recreate one here at our house for Malachi to use whenever he wants???  Doesn’t that sound like a completely safe idea?  So, we’ve been buying up the needed items to start his shop and we had the blacksmith make Malachi his very own set of blacksmithing tools.  He was so excited to see it all come together.  Then we had Sajo (the blacksmith) come out for the day to show Malachi how to position everything and how to get started on his own.  My boys were completely enthralled with the process.  It’s totally a boy thing as Steve says.

You start a fire and get the charcoal burning.  Then you have a fan that you turn by hand to blow air into the coals to keep it burning hot.  You put the metal into the coals until it’s flaming red.  Then pull it out and quickly start pounding into the shape you want.  After a few pounds the metal cools and back into the coals it goes.  You just keep doing this process.  My boys think it is the greatest thing that now they make their own arsenal of weapons right out back.

This definitely falls under that catagory of “only if you grow up in Africa can you do this”.  I told my mom that Children’s Services would probably be calling if we were home in the States.  As dangerous as it may be, I do love that my kids share in an important part of the culture they live in.  This is how stuff is made and I love that they are learning about it.  I love that it helps build relationships even more with the people around us.  It’s all about sharing in each others lives!

Keeping those coals nice and hot

Keeping those coals nice and hot

Getting started on his first project

Getting started on his first project

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Christmas

Posted by Steve and Casey Cretsinger on Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012
Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas

Living here in Guinea, Christmas could really come and go and you wouldn’t really notice.  There are no lights on houses, no TV specials, no stores full of gift giving ideas, no signs of Christmas anywhere.  It can be difficult to think of all the traditions happening without us back home.  It can be difficult to read how everyone is celebrating the season…BUT, there are also great things about having Christmas over here.  It’s much easier to focus on the real meaning of Christmas when you take away all the hype and commercialism.  There was no mention of Santa Claus at all.

We read from the book of Luke several times and talked about how amazing it was that God would choose to send His Son as a baby in a manger.  Luke 2:10-11, “Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all the people.  For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.”

When we read that I asked the boys why is it good tidings with great joy?  They knew it was because Jesus would save us all from our sins.  Then we started talking about all the people in our village.  I asked if their religion is full of good tidings and great joy?  They knew too that it is not.  All the people around us are just trying to do enough good things to make up for the bad things in the hope that their god will let them into paradise.  That can’t bring joy to a soul.  I just kept reading that passage and thinking how much I long for my friends and neighbors to know true joy.  To no longer strive to be good enough, but to rest in the fact that God already did everything for them.

Of course, with three boys, we did celebrate Christmas with a few traditions.  We made Christmas cookies (even as our frosting was melting :) And we sang Christmas carols and had some presents for them.  We asked our guard to give us a few hours as a family on Christmas morning without people needing us.  They think it is so incredibly odd that we would want to be alone for ANY reason!

We spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day visiting with our friends and family in the village – giving out gifts and offering our holiday greetings.  It’s a bit hard for them to offer those greetings back to us since it is rejoicing in the birth of Jesus, but we appreciate their efforts.  It was such a wonderful time giving gifts to others.  I had a great time of choosing clothes, toys, and candies for each family.  Our boys loved being a part of it and helping kids with their gifts.  I love that we could share our holiday with our friends this way.  I love that we can bring some of our world into theirs and let them know how much we care about them.  I have tons of pictures, but here are some of my favorites…

Taking gifts to Mariama and her kids

Taking gifts to friends and their kids

I loved seeing their excited littles faces as we visited different families

I loved seeing their excited littles faces as we visited different families

Having a fashion show trying on the new clothes

Having a fashion show trying on the new clothes

Visiting my namesake Casey with her parents Mohammed and Mawa.

Visiting my namesake Casey with her parents Mohammed and Mawa.

I love seeing how happy they were to get gifts for baby Casey

I love seeing how happy they were to get gifts for baby Casey

Sweet baby Casey and I

Sweet baby Casey and I

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Taking a step of faith

Posted by Steve and Casey Cretsinger on Wednesday, December 21st, 2011
it can be about impossible to get a group of Africans to smile for the camera! Our group has grown a little since this photo, but these our guys!

it can be about impossible to get a group of Africans to smile for the camera! Our group has grown a little since this photo, but these are our guys!

A few months ago Steve and I started talking about wanting to do a Bible Study with the group of teenage guys who spend most of their afternoons at our home.  It’s a little scary at first to think about doing public Bible teaching in a group.  We never forget that Christianity goes against their religion and their beliefs.  Their religion (and I can’t use the specific title here) affects every aspect of their life…so, openly teaching about Christ is a big deal.  Of course, we share about our personal faith with people on a one-on-one basis, but a group Bible study is a much different story.  We spent a lot of time praying about it and in the end decided that we just couldn’t go on NOT teaching them.  We needed to be faithful to speak up and see where it led us.

It has been such a great experience for our entire family.  Our boys love Thursday nights when the whole group comes over to eat.  They hang out for a while when they first get here – playing foosball with Micah or coloring with Ephraim are the big hits!  Then it’s eating all together…let me tell you, those boys can eat!  One of their moms is the woman who does the cooking for us and when she first told us how much rice she would need each week I couldn’t believe it was true.  But, each week not a drop of food is left over.

Steve is going through the book, “The Lamb”, with the guys right now.  We wanted to start with something that wasn’t extremely threatening to them.  This book is one we’ve used with our own boys to clearly explain creation, sin, sacrifice and our need for a Savior.  Much of the story the teenagers are familiar with – it’s the details that have been changed to suit their religion.  We want to start at the beginning and lay the right foundation so they clearly see where the differences started and what affect it has.  After Steve goes through the chapter he asks questions to see if they are following him…yes, we are using candy as incentive for getting the answer right (hey, whatever works!).  They are asking good questions themselves and we are so thankful that we are taking these relationships deeper.

Keep praying for this group of young men.  Pray that they would see the truth of God’s Word.  Pray that they would have the courage to seek this truth.  Pray that we would communicate in a clear way that brings God glory!

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It’s important to them…

Posted by Steve and Casey Cretsinger on Wednesday, December 21st, 2011
Getting some action shots

Getting some action shots

Soccer is a VERY important part of life over here.  Soccer is THE sport.  I’m amazed when I see boys and young men running in 120 degree heat gearing up for a big match.  Every boy dreams of becoming a famous soccer player.  The market walls are lined with uniforms from all different countries.  When you live in a pretty remote village with no means of transporation and nothing much to do – a soccer match with a rival village team is a big deal.  Notices are written down, (and then usually brought to my house for me to make photocopies) passed around to different groups, and everyone shows up at the soccer field to watch the big game.

It’s just a gravel field at the edge of the village, just homemade goals, but you’d think they are celebrities.  If it’s going to be a big match then they rent speakers and microphone so there can be announcers yelling loudly through the whole thing.  Our village just had a week long soccer match with different grades playing each afternoon.  The boys who spend their afternoons at our house were playing one afternoon, so Steve went with the boys to cheer them on.  He took a ton of pictures and then when they came over for Bible Study he played them as a slideshow.  They loved it.

It may seem like a trival thing, but we want to be involved even in the soccer games.  Whatever is important to them needs to become important to us.  We need to show our neighbors that we care about the things they care about.  It’s the only way that we can become a part of the community.  Praying for these moments of outreach…

Such serious determination

Such serious determination

Presenting the team

Presenting the team

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