NTM - New Tribes Mission | Planting Tribal Churches

Steve's brother in the village

This week has me emotionally spent!  Yesterday was kind of the breaking point when our family in the village came to tell us that Steve’s little brother had been taken to jail because he hit his pregnant wife during the night and she was at the hospital.  They wanted to know how we were going to fix it.  

It’s made more complicated by the fact that Steve is also his brother’s boss – which in this culture means they come to you to fix EVERYTHING.  We told that them that we needed time to talk and to pray about the situation.  

They sent representatives from all the surrounding families every hour to see if we were ready to go bail him out.  Here, when you are arrested the police set the price of the fine and then your family needs to pay it.  Once they have paid you are free to go.  For the most part there are no long-term punishments.

Anyways, we tried to explain several times that even though you are allowed to hit your wives in this culture, it goes against what we believe.  To just give the money to pay the fine would seem as if we are saying that we are OK with his behavior.  It’s so hard to try and find common ground when you don’t share the same faith or the same culture.

Finally, after many discussions we decided that Steve would go to the jail and the hospital and discuss the situation.  We would not be paying to get him out of jail – but we would be paying all of the wife’s medical care and wanted the police to know that.  Part of the fine was for her bills to be paid to the hospital.

Steve, along with the other brothers, went to the jail and talked things over with them.  Then he went to the hospital to visit the wife.  They are pretty sure she is fine, but are waiting until there is power in the hospital today to do an ultrasound (having one of those done is basically unheard of here and only happens in emergencies).

Then Steve went back to the jail and the negotiations for the brother’s release started – everything is a negotiation here.  They settled on the price and the brother was allowed to leave.  We didn’t help with any of those fees – we told the family that we could not financially help with getting him out.

Steve was able to have some good talks with his younger brother on the way home and after getting to their house.  The story is not quite so simple and the problems go back a long ways.  The advice he is getting is to just get another wife since this one isn’t acting like a proper wife.  

Steve talked and pointed out all the families in the village whose problems are multiplied when a second or third wife was brought into the picture.  He shared how it won’t make the problems go away.  He shared about us and our struggle to always treat each other the right way.  He shared how we desire a strong, loving family and what you forgive and change in yourself to see that happen.

It was a good opportunity to share how our God wants so much more for each of us.  We want to talk with them both in the days ahead and keep sharing our hearts for them.

When we are tired and these problems come to our doorstep – honestly, sometimes the first thought is “please just give me a break!”…but God is using these tough situations to open doors for real conversations with unbelievers.  Giving us a chance to challenge life as they’ve always known it.  

Pray for us.  Pray that we can have the patience and wisdom to pray over each situation, to give of our time and energy, and show the love that Christ has for each of them.