NTM - New Tribes Mission | Planting Tribal Churches

Friday I walked into the guesthouse and lo and behold there sat Ate Lilia! She was one of my mom’s house helpers back when we were here and was like a part of the family when I was 7, 8, and 9 years old…

Since Logan & AJ both look crazy in this one here’s another one….

She and her family of 5 kids ranging from 20 down to 3 yrs old live several hours up north so I was not expecting to see her here in Manila! She was down here though getting some medical help for her son who has had trouble with the vision in one of his eyes. He has totally lost sight in one of his eyes and has been having a laser treatment done but so far it hasn’t helped at all. He’s 14 years old.

It was such a blessing seeing her and actually being able to speak to her in Tagalog this time around! She was so excited to see Paige and snatched her up right away It was so fun seeing her play with my kids and felt so surreal to be together…she doesn’t seem like she’s aged a day and here I am now with 3 kids!

She said she thinks Logan looks like the spitting image of Jake when he was little and I can see the resemblance, Logan definitely takes after my side. What do you think Neither of the pictures above are all that great to compare but I really can see it looking at these pictures of Jake!

Logan was in a particularly mischevious mood when we were hanging out with her so maybe that’s the way she thinks he takes after Jake hehe…just kidding bro! (sort of!) Those little brothers know all the right buttons to push!

Alaena was being all picky and taking the cabbage pieces out of her pancit which made Ate laugh…I was the queen of picky eaters (and still sort of am…I’m working on it).

Gifts! well…on the last test I took it came up encouraging words. But I used to be GIFTS! (And think deep down I really am..not sure what kind of weird phase I was going through when I took it last!) Anyways, so I wanted to show you the gift Alaena got me for my birthday because I love it!

Here’s a closer look….The place has different characters you can choose but you only get 4.  At first I was like “where’s Paige!” Then she showed me the mommy is carrying a baby

Matt said he tried to get her to choose the ripped out muscle guy for him but she picked this guy because daddy has a jacket with the Philippine flag on it

And here’s her pick for herself and Logan…I love it and it makes me smile and reminds me how unique and special our family is since we live where we do. So there you go! The Filipino versions of ourselves

Here in the Philippines we have two main season…..hot season and hotter! Just kidding…there’s rainy season from about August through around February. Then it gets to be hot season from like March through July or so. Of course there’s a lot of fluctuation in there and I was really surprised that within rainy season & hot season there are also distinctions…like the typhoon months within rainy seasons and then there are a little bit dryer “cold months” around December and January (my favorite time of year here).

The school year plays around hot seasons and summer break here is April & May with classes starting up in June.

I remember after we moved back to the States when I was in 4th grade and I had no idea the school schedule was different there. I was in class and I don’t remember exactly what was said but somehow it came up that we had school in April and I piped up in front of the whole class and said something about that being wrong and that it was summer time in April! Everyone pretty much laughed and I was so embarrassed!

With hot season comes more ants (they go after the water! Who knew ants got thirsty…), swimming, halo-halo (a tasty cold treat we now love!)…

It’s funny…about 5 years ago we were here visiting (pre-kids!) and met up with some missionary friends who were coming out of the tribe after being in there for a while. The thing they were MOST excited about having when they came out was halo-halo! Not a shake…not a burger or pizza hut…halo halo. At the time we thought they were absolutely crazy and joked about them having been here way too long Now WE love it and I would totally go for a halo halo right now if I could! It’s definitely got a lot going on and I take a few things off but it is so delicious and every time Alaena sees a sign for it she yells “look mommy! It’s your favorite!”

Hot season also brings fires…

We saw this fire the other night from our apartment. It was so huge and just kept growing and growing. Fires spread so quickly here especially in squatter areas where the living conditions are so crowded. I found this article about urban housing issues here in Manila and some of the statistics are staggering. Back in 2001 about 35% of the population here in Manila lived in slums much like this one…I’m sure it’s grown since then. The area of the city that we live is known all over the Philippines for having the largest squatter area of all of Manila.

This fire was in the direction of where my helper lives so I called her right away to make sure she was okay. Thankfully it wasn’t in their neighborhood but a lot of times fires are close to where she lives.

Often during hot season we hear about casualties as a result of fires and it is so sad. Usually it’s little kids who are lost as a result of fires. Neighborhoods rally together and really help each other out when tragedies like this happen. Typically they start because of using candles because people can’t afford electricity or because of faulty wiring…or just wiring like this…

Eesh! Our electric bill will probably be horrible this month…I’m not looking forward to seeing it! Our poor aircon has been worked to death because it has been a killer hot season this year. Last night it was 90 in our room when we were heading to bed at 11 pm! Ugh. I’m almost to the point where I need 2-3 showers per day! Rainy season can’t come fast enough! This Fargo girl can’t take many more 100 degree days…

Let me start off with you can get A LOT of things here. We can get so much I really have almost forgotten what we CAN’T get! I’ll probably be shocked when I get back to Fargo and go grocery shopping Really we are blessed here in the Philippines with a very large import aisle at the grocery store and several specialty stores where if I’m desperate and willing to pay the price I can get whatever I want here…(almost). BUT I don’t have all day to drive all over to a million stores trying to find certain ingredients…and usually I’m not willing to pay the price.

One thing I’ve had a hard time finding are baked goods for breakfast. Not donuts…those are easy to find here But things like English Muffins and Bagels. These are some of my favorite breakfast items and I’ve been at a bit of a loss in the mornings without them. So I found a recipe and have started making English Muffins. And I must say they turn out delicious! It is a bit of work but it’s worth it and one batch makes quite a few!

Next I have try my hand at bagels but I’ve been a little intimidated so far…I recently got a used bread maker from a missionary who’s heading back to the States and I’m hoping that will make things easier and I’ll be able to try more things…right after I go buy a transformer big enough to handle it!

Almost all of my cooking here is from scratch…and I like it that way, most of the time Here’s a few things I make from scratch now that I probably wouldn’t have before, living in the US…

Flour tortillas

Meatballs

English Muffins

Granola

Sour Cream

Not too big of a list right now but I’m guessing it will grow once we get out of Manila! I’m hoping to try to make bagels and ricotta or cottage cheese next! The longer we’re here the more I’m learning better ways to cook here. I’m starting all over re-learning how to grocery shop…how to take advantage of the market and use what they have here. It’s fun to try new things…Matt just told me about a new vegetable he said he tried up north on his trip and I’m going to have to experiment with that one this week!

She has returned….”the crying baby” as my helper refers to her Well, it was nice to have a few days of a break from the constant crying. Little sweet pea does seem to be overall doing better but I think she will always be a fussy/high-need baby. And even when she wasn’t crying so much for those few days I still wouldn’t call her “happy”…

I’m getting to know her more and more every day and she definitely is a little tender and sensitive girl. I think she’s just easily overwhelmed by lots of activity and needs lots of short naps and snacks throughout the day

She also needs a long time to wind down after the day. Last night I did a whole bedtime routine that she seemed to really like. I fed her and then we had bath time and got her all cleaned up and in her jammies…followed by some cuddeling and a song and then she went into her crib. She was in there just happy checking out her mobile and eventually fell asleep BY HERSELF! She didn’t wake up for another 4 hours to eat and after that went another 4-5 hour stretch! It was our best night so far…I’ve always been trying just to feed her and put her straight down but that has NOT been working. It’s so exciting when you finally try something that seems to work. Let’s hope it works tonight too

Maybe that is a totally normal routine for most people but with my other ones they were just so laid back! I could do their last feed while I was watching something and just put them down and they were fine. For her I think even the sounds of the tv are too much stimulation for her at night so I think I will be reading a whole lot more now! Which is probably a good thing She’s changing me for the better…

It was encouraging to find this website…and see that I’m not alone! Especially that post just helped me know that the feelings and crazy emotions this time has brought out in me are normal and it is hard to deal with the constant drain a crying baby can be. I’ve gotten a ton of good ideas off of the site for ways to cope, ideas for soothing her and if I do eventually cut out dairy they have it all mapped out on their site! Yeah for someone else doing the research for me When you are so tired and drained it’s really hard to actually remember what has happened…when did I feed her? How long does she usually nap for? How many diapers? What did I eat? There’s just no way to remember when your brain is in such a fog! And with a baby such as herself it’s more important to know what’s going on to try and figure out triggers for the fussiness. I didn’t pay the $12.99 the site wanted for their fancy charts but made my own and am now tracking everything. I must say even if I don’t find any patterns it has brought me out of the fog a bit and given me clarity. It helps to see what has actually happened in a day or through the night.

I’ve had to get creative and go outside of what I normally did with the other two. For instance…I was talking to my mother-in-law about how sweet pea went down okay in her crib for the first half of the night but has a really hard time falling asleep after her 2 or 3 am feeding. She suggested bringing in her little swing into our room and letting her sleep in that! I NEVER would have thought of that…I don’t know why…I’ll blame the lack of sleep Mostly because I never had to do anything like that with the other ones! Logan was sleeping through the night at like 5 weeks! Conked out in his bassinet. The swing thing totally did the trick with her…she starts out like this…

…and after about 15 minutes or so…voila….

It’s magic

I am sitting here this afternoon and the house is actually quiet! Logan’s sleeping, Alaena’s ‘resting’ and Paige is AWAKE! Happy in her swing. That’s right folks. She’s not crying After that last awful Sunday one week ago it seemed like something switched. The next day she was great! Happy and content. I think I even got a smile out of her…the next week she seemed to be much more content. It’s been a week now so I think I can finally say she has turned the corner and is out of whatever crazy fussy funk she was in!

Not that she doesn’t still fuss and cry sometimes. She does for sure. Late afternoons are especially fussy but she has definitely improved greatly! And I am attributing that to everyone who has been praying! I was almost going to start cutting dairy out of my diet because a lot of people said that can often be the cause but it seems like I don’t have to do that at this point…so I’m grateful

That’s not the only answer to prayer we’ve seen in the last week…Matt had a big important evaluation of his Tagalog ability. We are supposed to have these evaluations (or reviews) every 2 months or so with a language consultant. Unfortunately we haven’t had the people to do the reviews with us. So it’s been almost a year since Matt’s last review. Thankfully the Lord provided someone here in Manila who is able to spend a lot of time with us and do all of our reviews!

Since it had been so long it was really hard for us to guess where he was at. Our hope is to finish language study sometime in August or September so we were really hoping he would get a pretty high level…and he did! There are 12 levels in all and Matt has to get to ‘level 7′ or Capable:low….here’s the break down….

Basic – low, mid & high

Progressing – low, mid & high

Capable – low, mid & high

Proficient – low, mid & high

At our very first review only a few months in Matt was at Basic:low. After about 10 months of intense studying (2 trips, 1 month off, 1 move and a baby) he jumped all the way up to a solid Progressing:mid! Really that is huge progress. He only needs to get to Capable:low. So he’s almost there. They say it takes 3-4 months to go up a level so it looks like our August/September goal is doable.

I am so proud of him and how hard he’s worked! Seriously, that guy is up at 5 am everyday studying away…even though it’s one of his least favorite things to do! Thankfully a big part of learning language study is being out with people and he thrives at that

So that is a huge praise for us. I have my review at the end of May so we’ll see how that goes! I only need to get to Progressing:mid but I’m not sure if I’ll be there at this review, hopefully for sure by the fall.

Matt left on Friday to head up north to tag along on a survey…if you want to know more about survey’s (or People Group Assessments) and our interest in them check out our newsletter (just write me if you want to get it!)…It’s a busy week while he’s gone so that will be good. Alaena is going to VBS at our church (it’s summer time here in the Philippines) and starts tomorrow morning. She’s super excited. We also enrolled her for a little summer school thing that goes just a month starting next week. The school is right behind our house and I’m looking forward to taking her to that. She just needed some activities outside the home, she’s been going stir crazy and asks about going to school EVERY day! So I’m glad the Lord provided these opportunities

So there’s a testimony to the power of prayer and how God is so faithful to take care of us! Thanks for your prayers! And with that I think I’m going to actually go take a nap…Paige fell asleep

Easter 2012 was a pretty chaotic day. More than the normal but every day has some amount of chaos. I think when I was younger I had a pretty wrong picture of what being a mom/wife would be like. It’s what I always wanted and I thought it would be this picture perfect life. Now that I’m here it’s not necessarily what I thought it would be. Not that that’s bad, it’s just different. It’s reality, not the idealistic imaginings of a teenager.

Last Saturday we went on a picnic out at a missionary school that has a beautiful campus and is right outside of Manila. It’s a nice retreat from city life for us to get out to occasionally. It has a HUGE playground and amazing pool and we took advantage of both of them last weekend. While we were putting our hotdogs on the grill someone asked me how things were going since our newest addition. This someone happened to be the dad of 5. I answered saying that we were getting there but it wasn’t really back to normal yet. His reply surprised me…he goes, “well, there’s no normal with kids”. I laughed and said something about finding the new normal but what he said really got me thinking. I think I’ve always had this idea of what normal family looks like and I’m frustrated because ours might not look like that. But what if I’m reaching for something that doesn’t exist and isn’t real?

That means all my frustration will never end because things will never look like the expectations I set! That would be sad. I think I realized I’ve been waiting to just get through where we’re at right now and when certain circumstances change then I can be the mom I always wanted to be and our family would become that normal/perfect picture I always had in my mind.

When we get “there”  I’ll finally get to do all those fun crafts and games with the kids. I’ll have a flawless, balanced menu and never forget to buy some ingredient that causes a last minute emergency trip to the store. I’ll always have time to have an hour long quiet time before the kids get up and I’ll be dressed and showered and ready for the day by 8. Yeah right!

Not that trying to have a balanced menu or having that great quiet time is bad! It’s just my expectations about those things that I need to keep flexible. I need to realize that it just might look different than I expected. And that’s OKAY. It’s okay if it’s not perfect. It’s better to be imperfect in those things than not do them at all because I know I can’t do it as well as I want to. That’s the ditch I fall into. If I can’t do it perfect I don’t do it all and waste so many opportunities.

So I’ve been learning to take the opportunities I do have. Maybe I can’t pack a perfect Easter basket this year complete with jellybeans and peeps. But hey, that doesn’t mean I don’t have to do one. It isn’t all or nothing. The kids were so so excited about the candy in their baskets. Even though it was pumpkins and eyeballs from Halloween! ha! They weren’t criticizing me about it, I’m my worst critic.

I might not have time for as in depth of a quiet time as I did before, but that doesn’t mean I can’t connect with the Lord in different ways throughout my day. And I’m learning that connecting with God now is so so important for me to make it through the chaos in a healthy way! One thing I started is taking the opportunity for a little quiet while I’m nursing Paige. I try and get just one feeding in the 24 hours alone in my room and I’ve got a little “quiet time station” going on. My Bible, devo book, journal and pen are all in a drawer and I take the 10 minutes to have some input into my heart. Another thing has been just intentionally turning on some worship music throughout the day. And actually listen to the words. I’ve found it such an encouragement.

I realized it was so encouraging this week when I was having a particularly bad afternoon with Paige. She just wouldn’t calm down no matter what I did. So I turned on some music, I wasn’t even thinking about what I was turning on I just needed some other sound going on than crying. I was bouncing and rocking her and I actually heard the words of the song….”There is power! Power! Wonder working power. In the blood, of the lamb.” And it just so encouraged me in that moment when I felt exhausted and like I couldn’t do anything else, I needed to be reminded that I’m not alone and it’s not about my strength. Christ’s power is working in me and He promises that in my weaknesses He will show His strength.

While my temptation is to check out and just let my mind go blank because I’m just so exhausted that really doesn’t do anything to refresh me if that’s all I do. I need to take some of those moments to check in with the Lord however I can and that actually refreshes and rejuvenates me.

So here’s to the new normal…to the real normal I’d love to hear how you find ways to connect with God and your kids in the chaos of life!

Yesterday, of course, was Easter. My favorite holiday of all and it was unfortunately awful this year.

My day started out at 5 am feeding little miss Paige. It kind of feels like the days don’t end any more because I was up at midnight and 3 am to feed her too! When Matt got up he hid the Easter baskets that I last minute threw together last night. It’s so sad, this year I didn’t even buy them anything. I just used random candy we had around the house and gave them each 2 books I had saved from one of our boxes that got shipped over here. They were just as excited but for me I knew it didn’t live up to the amazing baskets my mom always put together!

The kids started looking for the baskets around 6:30 and I had to hide out in the bedroom because Paige would not stop crying and Matt wanted to video the kids finding their baskets. Screaming baby and trying to video just doesn’t work. So I fed her again because that’s the only thing that seems to calm her down.

It was going to be a big day because we had actually rented out the mission vehicle to use to go to church and go grocery shopping. Since we don’t have a car we sometimes use that because it just makes things so much easier. Otherwise we would have been taking a taxi to church. Then another taxi to the grocery store…followed by yet another taxi home. And who knows how long we would have stood in taxi lines. Our record is 1 1/2 hours! That’s not so fun with 3 tired kids and a weeks worth of groceries in 90 degree + heat.

So Matt headed out early to pick up the van and we met him downstairs all ready to go to church…albeit 15 minutes late already! The two older kids ran to Sunday School (which they love PTL!) and we headed into the service. This time we sat in the kid friendly room that is separated by a pane of glass. So you can sit in there and still see the service but everyone else can’t hear you When we got in there the speakers were CRAZY loud. I thought we were going to have to leave because it was hurting our ears. I guess someone else felt the same way because they asked to turn it down. Unfortunately it got turned down a bit too much. So the rest of the service we could not hear the Pastor. You know how frustrating it is when you are straining to hear but you miss words here and there still. Plus with the competition of all the kids in there I couldn’t even tell you the main point of the message. Well, I’m guessing it was something about the resurrection But seriously, that would be just an educated guess! I didn’t even get to sing one Easter hymn! It was sad.

Paige actually did great through the service but that was all about to change. We were into phase two. Grocery shopping. We all got in the car and drove over to one of my favorite grocery stores that I haven’t been able to get to in about 2 months. When we got to the mall (most of the grocery stores we go to are in malls…) I needed to feed Paige so we went to a little bakery first and got some snacks for the kids. I naively assumed Paige would eat and then we’d put her in her stroller and she’d take her normal morning nap while we pushed her around the store. Piece of cake, right?

No way. She was being kind of fussy so I hiked across the mall till I found a bathroom with a changing table and got her all changed. She screamed the whole way. Gotta love all those staring eyes. I finally made it back to Matt and the kids and she was still crying. So I was like, well she’ll just calm down after we push her around a little bit. Nope. We got about 2 aisles in and at that point she had worked herself up to a little red screaming monster. Nothing calmed her down. So we just had to leave. I would not leave behind two things that I had gotten so we checked out. Somehow in the process of walking up to the front I lost Logan. Yeah.

I was carrying Paige, trying to calm her down, and Logan & Alaena were “following” me. Apparently Logan changed his mind. I turned around and he was gone. So then I’m running around the store yelling for Logan, holding a still screaming baby! People must have thought we had lost our minds.  All the workers were just standing there and staring at me!

*hanging my head in shame and tears*

After running around for a while I finally reconnected with Matt and he had Logan. He had seen him running through the aisles and was like what is going on!? We finally got out of there and headed up to the 7th floor to our car. Still screaming baby in the background…she screamed all the way home.

It would be lovely if that was it. If our day was over and we recovered at home and maybe even just did the grocery shopping later. But no. We have a parenting Bible study (that we love!) every Sunday. It’s just outside of Manila but on Sundays usually doesn’t take too long to get there. It’s a nice break from the city and a great study. We were on snacks and somehow I blanked out on what we were supposed to bring. I thought we were supposed to do sweet so I was all planned for that. No, turns out we’re on salty. Great.

*more tears*

I have no groceries, remember? So super husband Matt did all the dishes and ran to Cherry’s, our little grocery store next door, and got some chips and salsa while I collapsed in bed and slept for a little bit.

We picked ourselves up, dusted ourselves off and at 3:30 headed out to the door to leave for study. We didn’t actually get on the road for another half hour! It took 30 minutes to get from our door, down the elevators and on the road! How is that possible!? Well, someone decided to load some big things into the elevators and move it to their apartment exactly when we were needing to go down. So we waited for about 15 minutes just to get in the elevator. When we finally got down to the car (it’s Matt’s parents we were borrowing) it decided it hates us and the alarms would not stop going off. Every time we would open or close a door the sirens would blow. Who knows why. Between all the sirens and all we finally had all three kids strapped and buckled in. Matt goes to start the car and every time it wouldn’t start, it would just set off the alarms! We sat there for a good 10 minutes, alarms blaring, just trying to start the car! Of course this woke Paige up :/ We’re still not really sure what Matt did but finally the alarms stopped and the thing started!

Thankfully it only took us 25 minutes to get out there so we weren’t late. We took the car time to try and re-strategize our grocery shopping routine. Going as a whole family just isn’t looking that appealing anymore. I was not in a happy place, all emotional about how I can’t even grocery shop any more and if I can’t even do that how can I do anything! I can’t handle simple life and on and on…then our sweet little 4 year old starts belting out “Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord” and it was so so cute and sweet. We were telling her how beautiful she was singing and she goes, “I’m just singing to God, mommy and daddy!” It was some good encouragement and perspective at that moment for me!

So…study was great, for at least the first 30 minutes but then Paige took up her fussing again, in spite of the fact that she was clean, fed and had a nap. I still got to hear the video but I was doing the baby bounce and walking in the background for most of it. Thankfully there’s a few more arms there to rotate and pass her around She was fussing so much though we decided to just leave a bit early. So we get out to the car and I was going to feed her on the way home, even though she’d just eaten an hour before. It seems like that’s what she wanted (I don’t know what to do with this child!) I once again hoped that she would eat and then just fall asleep for the rest of the ride.

No. She ate and then screamed the rest of the ride. Which turned out to be extra long. Traffic was the WORST it has ever been coming home. It took us a solid hour. And of course we couldn’t find the paci the whole trip and my pinkie just wasn’t cutting it. Pulling into our driveway slot felt so good and we finally got to our doorstep.

Only to realize that my purse had been forgotten in the chaos of leaving our friends house. My purse contained the key. The only key. Yes, that is right. We were stuck at like 7:30 with 3 tired kids and 2 grumpy, exhausted parents and couldn’t get into our place. Our key being about a 2 hour trip away at that point. I was totally ready to just break the glass on our door but Matt restrained me

*start the tears again*

So we camped out in our hallway in front of our door while Matt checked the car just in case and called our friend’s house that we forgot my purse at. Thankfully Matt’s parents live in our apartment building too so we all went over to their house and hung out. Our friend has a motorcycle so he drove our key to us (poor guy had a flat tire on the way to us! Yes, the hits just kept on coming) and finally at 9:45 we were back in our apartment. At this point Matt and I were just in a sort of dazed shock from this day that literally felt like it had just slapped us in face! The lessons I’ve learned from today are still rolling around in my head and hopefully will all come together soon that I can share…instead of just complaining about how awful the day was! I’m still recovering

Matt’s Tagalog review starts tomorrow (which thanks to yesterday he has hardly thought about at all!) It’s a 3 day (all day) process and after that he leaves to go up north for at least a week to tag along with some survey work. We are really excited about the trip and finding out where he’s at! So that’s good. Hopefully we can get some groceries before he leaves!