Words fail me! How can I express what I am feeling? Conflicting emotions and thoughts are washing over me each moment. Before coming to the field, veteran missionaries encouraged me to cling to the Lord because a life of mission work would be both joyous and difficult. I knew it would be different living in another country and learning another language but did not know how wearying and lonely it would be. I know that if it wasn’t for God’s strength in my life I would be getting on the next plane back to my beloved home in Central New York. However, I also have joy unspeakable welling up in my heart when I think “Jenna, you are on the mission field. Ten years ago your heart ached to be where you are now.” There are no words to express the joy in obedience. These last few weeks I have often thought of the Apostle Paul’s life. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians that he was “pleased in weaknesses”. I have become more and more aware of my own weaknesses and wonder “How could Paul be ‘pleased in weaknesses’”?
Paul knew that it was Christ working in Him and in His weaknesses. “I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me.” Oh how I have seen these truths play out in my own life. By Christ’s power in me, I have made it on the mission field in Paraguay and by His power alone He will keep me here. In myself, I am utterly weak, helpless, and weary but with Christ’s strength I am living day to day rejoicing that He is showing His strength in my weakness. Remembering this makes me rejoice. I am rejoicing like Paul. I am learning to be “pleased in weaknesses.”
“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. So because of Christ, I am pleased in weaknesses, in insults, in catastrophes, in persecutions, and in pressures, for when I am weak, then I am strong” 2 Corn 12:9-10