NTM - New Tribes Mission | Planting Tribal Churches

Are you concerned that you might one day be burdened to become a missionary yourself? Well, put your mind at ease! Inspired by Stewart Dinnen’s list in How are you doing? (Bromley: STL Books, 1984), here is a humorous look at some sure-fire ways to avoid becoming a missionary:

1. Ignore Jesus’ request in John 4:35 that we take a long hard look at the fields. Seeing the needs can be depressing and very unsettling. It could lead to genuine missionary concern. (John 4:35, "Say not ye, There are yet four months, and then cometh harvest? behold, I say unto you, Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields; for they are white already to harvest.")
2. Focus your energy on a socially legitimate target. This could be a bigger salary, better qualifications, a job promotion, bigger home, better car, or providing for the future.
3. Get married as soon as possible, preferably to somebody who thinks the "Great Commission" is what your employer gives you after you make a big sale. After marriage, plunge right into the socially accepted norm of settling down, establishing a career and raising a family.
4. Stay away from missionaries. Their testimonies can be disturbing. The situations they describe will distract you from settling in comfortably with the materialistic lifestyle of your home country.
5. If you happen to think about unreached peoples, immediately focus on those countries where it’s impossible to openly do missionary work. Think only about North Korea, Saudi Arabia, China and other closed countries. Forget the vast areas of our globe open to missionaries.
6. Dwell on your own past failures. It is unreasonable to expect you will ever be any better. Don’t study the lives of Abraham, Moses, David, Jonah, Peter or Mark (who were all failures at one point, but didn’t stay that way).
7. Always think of missionaries as talented, super-spiritual people up on lofty pedestals. Maintaining this image of a missionary will heighten your own sense of inadequacy. Knowing that God does not use ordinary people as missionaries will smother any guilt you may feel about refusing to obey God’s command to take the Gospel to the whole world.
8. Agree with the people who tell you that you are indispensable where you are. Listen when they tell you that your local church can’t do without you.
9. Worry incessantly about money. Ignore all the passages in the Bible such as Matthew 6:31-33 that instruct us to look to the Lord for our provision.
10. If you still feel you must go, go out right away without any preparation or training. You’ll soon be home again and no one can blame you for not trying!

Tags: humor, missionaries

This entry was posted on Sunday, December 2nd, 2007 at 00:00 and is filed under Pryor's Ponderings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.