“Some wish to live within the sound of a chapel bell; I wish to run a rescue mission within a yard of hell.” - C.T. Studd

I have always appreciated this quote and have often shared it as something of an inspiration to me.  How I wish it were true in my life – in reality, not just in theory!

Unfortunately, the reality is, I actually would prefer to live within the sound of a chapel bell.  That is the truth.  It is nice there – there is an influence on the environment and on the people in those areas, even if those living there don’t attribute it to the presence of God’s people and His Spirit.  It is a tangible influence, none-the-less.

Yet, here I am, a country girl, raised in the protected environment of a “Mayberry” type town, now living in hot and humid Manaus, in the inner-city. A city that sprung up in the middle of a vast expanse of jungle on the side of a well known river where once only animism and the occult existed among tribal communities. It is a geographically isolated city.  For all the years it has existed, it remains very rough around the edges. It truly has felt at times like I was living within a yard of hell.  It seems the Lord would have me learn a life where theory becomes blessed reality!  He has joined my life with the lives of a few light-bearers in a land that is very dark indeed.  A tourist may perceive it in a limited way and interpret it as novel but harmless; just a hint of tribal culture which is to be preserved.  Unless you really enter into life here locally, it is impossible to fathom the extent of the evil weaved and knotted tightly into such a landscape.

I know that the Lord orchestrated my being here.  I pray that His Holy Spirit’s presence in my life can be of some influence for His kingdom.  Sometimes, though, I have to confess that I focus on the size of my flickering flame and forget to see the brilliance and penetrating power of Jesus Christ, Who is the Light of the World.

It is dangerous business to allow myself to focus on my limitations, (time factors of my age, just starting out all over again with a new language and culture, the heat and drain on energy, wondering if it is going to be worth missing my kids and grandkids, the joys of the holidays back home and a myriad of other creature comforts etc.).  When I let myself get into that temper of mind, I easily see that I am no competition against the formidable negative influences of a system bent of making the homosexual lifestyle “cool” (the leader of this country is a lesbian and the former leader, who is still revered,  is a Spiritist); the strong grip that alcohol and drugs has on many around me here in the “hood”; open prostitution, women and child abuse in all its forms, the amorality mindset promoted and reflected in Carnival, the rise in the number of couples who do not  marry, materialism and the popularity of the prosperity gospel among those who call themselves “evangelicals”.

But God…

It is not fragile me up against the powers of darkness around me.  This is His work, these are His battles today…the outcome in the end has already been determined. May I always be discerning enough to catch myself on those days (or moments) when I focus on my limitations pitted against the powers of darkness instead of on our Great and Awesome God of Whom it is said that nothing is impossible with Him.

“I would have despaired if I failed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” 

Sharing what I have about where I am  may make it look like there is no good here.  On the contrary!!  God is doing a work in Brazil.  Many Christians here are battle worn, but there are churches that are reaching out to the lost and discipling those in the church, there’s a new awareness and interest kindling in unreached people groups within this vast land.  MNTWB is doing more in the area of consultant work of late, although the plane would really help with this!   There are evangelical churches growing in discernment and separating themselves from the prosperity gospel and from churches that are all “show”.  The Brazilian people are warm, friendly, patient with expats, fun, generous, and open.

Although living here does make me long for Heaven….or at least Mayberry…something inside me has given me hope, purpose, renewed strength when mine is exhausted, and even joy amidst the unpleasant realities.  I have this when my focus is on Jesus Christ. Not on the work, not on my limitations and frailties or what I may be missing out on at “home”. Giving into the temptation to replicate my comforts or culture here, creating my own little sub-culture is not the answer, either, and is actually detrimental to what the Lord wants to accomplish both in and through me.

Practicing the Presence of Christ,

Ruth

Late in August, Yu Xiaona joined our family as Jon’s wife. Ruth and I returned to Arizona to participate in this joyous family event. God, though various churches and families in the Valley of the Sun, provided above and beyond all of our expectations for the wedding! The newlyweds now reside in Mesa, AZ and plan to remain in the US until Xiaona qualifies for US citizenship.

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and self-discipline.”                      2 Timothy 1:7

Here in Brazil, I read these words and it read like this:

“Pois Deus não nos deu espirito de covardia, mas de poder, de amor e de equilibrio.”                                           2 Timóteo 1,7

Hm-m-m-m….I have read this verse many times before, but as it says in Hebrews 4:12, God’s  Word is living, and powerful and can discern our thoughts.  So, today, as I read 2 Tim. 1:7, of course it met a need.  God wanted to address things I have been thinking about – and as Charlie would testify – that is no small task!  I am a “thinker” and usually have several levels of thoughts going on in tandem.

Living in new culture is not the center of  anyone’s comfort zone.  There is so much to learn and unknowns galore. It takes no small amount of courage to “get out there” and “be local” among new people, in a new environment. all while trying to communicate what you really desire to, in a language you feel insecure in.    Isn’t it nice to know God has not given us a spirit of timidity or cowardice?  If I am feeling that, at any time, it is because I am not appropriating what He has already given me!

God has given me a real love for the lost people of Brazil. Yet, I need to be on the look-out for a subtle device of Satan’s.  In my own strength, my love can “morph” .  How does that happen? It happens in ways I feel “self justified” in so that my guard is down.  For example:  I find that the ear splitting  loud music coming from every direction wears me down and can make me tired and cranky.  My neat-nik tendencies get a work-over when I see a disregard for the environment (i.e.trash thrown liberally everywhere left to pile up in streets).  My heart gets heavy with the daily bombardment of the strong homosexual agenda here, or seeing the young girls on the street each night earning money through  prostitution. Awareness of  child abuse arouses the mother lioness in me, etc., etc. These realities of life can gravitate from disgust for sin  and  morph into a lack of love for the people, themselves!  I need to continually be on the alert for the pull toward this shift, especially when I am tired.  Whereas my love has limits, God has given me a bottomless supply of love from His storehouse.  It is available to me, it is right where I am to use for His glory. I don’t have to run out of it!

I have always been “labeled” a self disciplined person.  I think that is because I have tendencies toward organization and get a lot done in a day.  I have also been known to give what some have called 200% toward tasks. Today, the Lord wanted to refine my understanding of self-discipline.

In Portuguese the word used is equilibrio, which means balanced.  The King James Bible uses the words “sound mind”.  When I read the words, “self- discipline”, “balance” and “sound mind” in reference to this verse, something clicked.

I had let myself get out of balance, so to speak, by giving way too much mental energy over to concern (worry) for others or circumstances I had no control over.  This robbed me of precious energy and joy that could have been consistently mine.  God’s advice to me has always been to to pray with thanksgiving and leave the results to Him.  Only then can I mentally dwell (stay put) in the peace that is a product of trusting Him with outcomes.  I lacked the discipline to stay put. I would pray, experience peace and then later in the day, find the scales tipping again with the weight of concern.

To live a  balanced life that has the courage to face new challenges, emotional room for loving others, and peace as I navigate through the day, I need to be disciplined in focusing on the presence of Christ, and not on the presence of problems. The amazing thing is that God, Himself, has given me the spirit of discipline to be able to do this! What I found I could not do for myself, He has provided for.  Depending on Him, He is faithful to to restrain and train me to do only what He has assigned for me to do during this phase of language and culture learning. I don’t need to get side-tracked with other needs or compulsions that may force an imbalance.

What a gift we have been given by God!  He has given us a spirit of love, discipline and balance as we go through our days, to accomplish what He has put us here on earth for.  I don’t know about you, but that is really comforting and reassuring.  It leaves me with a sense of peace even while I navigate through this world full of trouble.  Thank you, Lord.

Jn 20:21 Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.”

Just about the time my language helper and new friend, Edna, was to come to my house, it started to rain.  Well, “pour” is more like it.

“She’ll never come in this downpour”, I said to myself.  “You can’t even see down the street!”  So, I settled into reading some Christian literature in Portuguese, as this is one of my daily activities that I have found profitable for language and spiritual growth.   “Maybe she will show up if the weather lightens up before too long.”

Just as my reading time finished, the rain stopped. I looked out the window – no Edna.  I asked the Lord what to do.  “Should I go to her house?  Maybe she is too tired or decided not to come because now it getting late and her family will be arriving home soon.”

“Go.” It wasn’t an audible voice, it was inside.  “Go”.

But….she was supposed to come to my house. The coffee was made and ready.   Besides, I didn’t want her to think that I was tracking her down or anything. Truth be known, I also would have felt more comfortable just letting the time slip away.  I was tired, myself, and I would be going out again tonight to be with a friend from church.  I was going to have enough Portuguese for one day!  Sitting on the couch with a cup of fresh brewed coffee sounded so much more inviting.  “Go.”

I got up before I could talk myself out of it, grabbed my keys and took off down the road to Edna’s.  There she was, and happy to see me, too!  I mean, really happy.  She couldn’t come because a friend from another part of the city had shown up to visit.  Now she had 2 friends visiting!

She invited me in, introduced me to her friend, re-introduced me to her grandson and soon all the sons, one by one, as they came home from their jobs.  I sat at a tiny table in one of the 2 chairs there.  The other friend sat on the edge of the arm of the couch that butted up against the table in the small room.  Edna served coffee and we talked.  Before you know it, the friend started talking about “religion”.

As it turns out, the friend is not a Christian, but said she said that she loves God and Jesus is her brother who shows her how to live.  That’s when it happened.

I almost fear writing this, because I don’t want it misunderstood, but God took over in me.  I felt such love for this dear, lost lady (I recognized it was not my love, but His….it was different and that’s all I know how to say it). Before you know it, we were having a conversation and God was giving me the words. He was amazing!  I was speaking Portuguese and expressing things I didn’t know I knew how to, in this language. He knows just what to say!  He knew just the things she was thinking!  He even gave me verses to use! I felt so alive and energized. I kept thinking, “Wow, God is doing this!”

One by one, all the boys came into the room to listen.  They are all believers who are very active in their church. I looked at them from time to time in wonder and asked, “Did I say that right?  Do you understand me?”  They all said they understood clearly and to “keep going”.

The friend was “glued” to every word and I know the Lord spoke to her heart.  When it was time to leave she hugged me tightly and kissed me.  Edna followed me to the door along with one of her sons.  She hugged me, thanked me and said she loved me, telling me to please come back to her house next Monday because she is going to have a surprise for me.  I have no idea what that will be, but I know the language is love.

It rained.  I wanted to stay comfy.  God reigned, so I went out into the wet street to seek the house of my new friend. What really happened was that God was seeking the soul of her old friend.  He had things He wanted to say to her.  I just happened to be there.

I still am amazed.  God can take a person who sometimes forgets how to say the simplest things and who feels self conscious when speaking Portuguese and miraculously turn her into a person who forgets about herself to speak His truths in His time, in their language – without fumbling all over the place! I need to keep letting God reign.  This is the kind of rain that will bring forth fruit!

From Ruth’s Desk –

Four months ago, today, we arrived in the dark and woke up to a whole other world – Manaus, Brazil. It is incredible to me to think back on all that has been crammed into these 4 months. I am thanking the Lord for encouraging me as I put hours into language learning and relationship building.

Do experienced, veteran missionaries need encouragement?  YES!!  At least, this one does!  Why?? This may give you a glimpse into the Lord’s ministry in my life these past months:

• My “maturity” has its advantages and disadvantages…..it  has not been easy for my “mature”  brain to learn yet one more language. It is true that youth is wasted on the young!!  I am doing incredibly well, but it is in direct proportion to my dependence on God for grace to study and prayers that what I study will stick!

• I am actually a timid and insecure person by nature, which would surprise even my closest friends! I need God’s courage to step out in faith in making new relationships with people across the language and culture barrier. The Lord is helping me “get local” and venture out there to love and understand those around me and it has been a huge blessing that has come right back at me!

• I come from the  high desert in Arizona with its wide open spaces, my peaceful desert garden, big views and dry air.  All things I love….yet here I am in the inner city, with high humidity, high heat, high population, noise, buildings, trash and graffiti all around me.  The Lord has helped me focus on Him and His heart instead of me and my surroundings.  Amazing things happen when I do that.  I actually find great contentment and joy outside of my comfort zone as I abide there. There is an energy I recognize that is not my own.

• I am a mother and grandmother. Skype and email are great, but  I would be lying to say that I don’t miss feeling their arms around me and that sometimes calls just leave me more homesick!  I have now missed the births of my first 2 grandsons and will miss the birth of my third this July (pass the tissue box, please).  Not being there for baby showers, births, and life with family in general does give me a pain that is hard to put words to.  Yet, the Lord has encouraged me that I am trading those temporary eventful days for a gift to my loved ones that will last long after the photos, that I am absent in, fade.

So, today, as I look back on the past 4 months, I give glory to God for all He has done…both in me on a daily basis, and even through me.  Both realities are humbling.

Thanks for your prayers! Keep praying daily!  Each day, it is my connection with the life of  the Holy Spirit in me that will make or break that day (and the days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into 4 months, and 4 months turn into…..).

A World Away in Just A Day

January 26th, we woke up at 4 AM and began a trip that would end in Manaus, Brazil the next morning at 1 AM. Our trip was smooth for us, albeit not as kind to our luggage, which all arrived but in much worse shape than we did!  We met new friends all along the way and old friends once we were on the ground.  A family we once worked with in Colombia is now working in Brazil and it was great to see their welcoming faces.  We dropped our luggage in a room in the mission home, enjoyed catching up on each others’ lives and then plopped into bed at 3 AM.

This is Not Arizona!

We woke to an unfamiliar sound – that of rain, but at 10 AM we went to coffee break at the mission guest home and were met by something very familiar – the warm love of the family of God, which is the same no matter where you go on earth. Most of the missionaries here are Brazilian and we have been received  like their very own brother and sister,  making us feel “em casa” (at home) from the moment we arrived.

That “family reunion” feeling continued, when, after much anticipation, we finally got to be together with the Rutherdales and the Riches, whom God has brought together with us to make up this new aviation ministry team. We had met the Rutherdales just before they left for Brazil and enjoyed corresponding with them over the next months.  We had already known Janelle Rich from our days in Colombia, where she was one of our “daughters” for a year, and had met her husband, Joel, when they came through NTM Aviation in Arizona. We thank the Lord for the team the Lord has given us with a vision to serve the Brazilian  church planting efforts through missionary aviation.

If  joining new coworkers was like a shower of blessing, attending church Sunday morning was like a surprise downpour. After church, when talking with the elderly pastor, we found out that he knew of Charlie’s dad when he served as a missionary doctor who was flown to remote villages to meet health needs with a team that also taught God’s Word.  He said Dr. Patton had been well known in these parts.  Yes, it is feeling like “home” in more ways than one!

Since our arrival, we have made a room in the mission guest home our “home”.  Juçara and her husband, Gilvan, who minister at the guest house, have gone out of their way to take us into their hearts and lives.  We will most likely stay here for the next 3 weeks and put finding a place of our own “on hold” for now. Although living in one room can be a little challenging, we are doing it to take advantage of all the conversational language help of the Brazilians who reside and work  at this location.  We also don’t want to  take time away from concentrating on a special class that is being given by a language helper that will be here for only 3 more weeks.  We are meeting with him 3 hours a day while he is available.  When the time is up, we c an then turn our eyes toward looking for a place to rent in the city where we can continue to be immersed in language and culture through relationship building with those around us. Pray for the Lord to direct us to a good place to accomplish these objectives. Once settled in our new location, we will also be starting another language course, which will evaluate where we are at and monitor our progress.  Knowing the language well is the foundation for ministry and all communication here.  So do pray for us that we would be diligent in the days ahead to apply ourselves and seek God’s enabling grace to be used effectively here.

It’s raining, its pouring….

Sheets feel damp, hair is frizzy, mosquitoes enjoy the puddles and we….well….we stand out in the rain with faces uplifted in thanks as we enjoy the showers of blessings that we have received since our arrival.

From Ruth’s Desk….

We will be driving to Los Angeles Wednesday in hopes of picking up our passports with the promised visas stamped in them on December 23rd. Those little stamps will give us permission to begin a new life – in Brazil.  Just think about it -  I have!

We have been packing up the house.  In stark contrast to the homes around us, which are all decked out for Christmas, ours is looking rather bare these days.  Lord willing, we will be moving to Brazil in January, and that is coming up quickly!  Because of that, I am often greeted these days with comments such as, “Ill bet you are getting so excited about your move!”  Or, “Are you getting excited about your new adventure? How exciting!”

Hm-m-m-m.  How do I answer? Well, I have not exactly looked at this move as an “adventure” , although I am sure there always are  adventurous aspects to any change. Even still, that is definitely not the reason we are pulling up stakes again. Neither would I express the sentiments I am feeling at this moment as “exciting”.  Should I?  Maybe it is just semantics, or maybe I can’t “water ski” over all the complex emotions and pick one word and use it like a pretty ribbon to tie them all up with.

While packing, one  sentiment I experienced resembled “mourning” more than anything else.  Horrors!  Did I write that?  What ever will you think of me?  Oh, well.  I am taking my chances.

I packed away pictures of the boys, my grandson, my mom, my sisters and brother and felt a wave of mourning.  I packed away my paints and art materials that I know are not worth the luggage space, since watercolor never dries in 99% humidity, and I sighed.  Then when I transferred all my teaching materials to storage bins for safe keeping, something akin to nausea hit me. Will I ever use them again?  Do I really even care?  Probably not.  It is just the reality of turning the page in your life’s book.  It’s the kind of book that won’t let you turn back the pages…in this story, you can only flip the pages forward.  I have felt it many times before.  This is not new to me, and it is not easy, but it is “right”. In the end, the story will have a better ending than what my emotions on this particular page are evoking.  It is, after all, being written by an Author I can fully trust.

So….Am I excited? Perhaps how I feel would be best understood like this – it is kind of like how I imagine Mary felt after she was given a wonderful assignment from God.  I mean, most people would wonder what could be more exciting than being chosen to carry and give birth to the Messiah!   So…was she excited?  No. The Bible says she was “greatly troubled”.  I think a thousand emotions fought with one another in that instant as she not only saw this wonderful privilege and opportunity to glorify God, but also sensed it would not be an easy assignment.  There would be repercussions accompanying this life change, but God would be with her.  She would experience joys to treasure, but also depths of sorrows on many levels.  She would be loosing control and kissing the life of status quo, “good-bye”.

Mary’s simple, yet weighty  response in the end was, “I am the Lord’s servant, May it be to me as you have said.”  In other words, “Thy will be done”, or sometimes expressed, “As you wish”.    That’s love.   Sometimes  painful. Sometimes costly.  Always worth it.  There is a joy in that, and it is deep. The word “excitement” just doesn’t do it justice.

There you have it. Just because I haven’t clapped my hands and simply answered, “yes!” to the excitement question, I don’t want people worrying about the next chapter of my life.  I am in love, you see, so I will be fine. Like I said before,  I gave the pen over to an Author I can trust to write my story.  He knows what He is doing and we love each other.  I might bite my nails during some chapters, or go from giggling to shedding some tears through others, but it will be a better story if left to Him.  I am the Lord’s servant.